the storm.

I am about to embark on a new chapter of life.  There is so much going on around me i have often have no place of refuge.  This is the storm, and our captain has been dragged overboard.  I am the only one who can save this ship.  we are in peril with no sign of hope.  I suppose its only in the movies where it all works out as we suspect it will.  This is not the movies.  Suppose we are also thrown overboard, kicking and screaming in the waves for someone to help... there's no one out here... who will hear my cries for help.  Even the captain has relinquished his control to the sea he finds himself in.  Maybe it's not up to me to save the ship, if it should even be saved at all. I have not the means to save myself from anything. This is life.  Its ugly, dirty, foul and will never work out the way you expect it to.  Is that not the beauty of it?  today, there is no hope, and thats okay.   We don't always need to believe that things will be the way we expect them to be, or be fixed in the way we want them to be fixed.  Maybe the way we look for hope is not the hope we need.  I just need to believe this...even if its just tonight.  This is the storm, and i don't know if everything will be okay.