Sleep Walking.

I woke up again this morning at 4am and all the lights were on.  They weren't on when i went to bed.  Its so weird.  I may write a song about it, even for this album. The last few weeks have been crazy and i really haven't kept up this blog as much as i would like.  I had to stop production on the cd for a few weeks due to some some complications with my voice.  It seems that i aquired a nasty strain of strep throat that i haven't been able to kick in about 3 and a half weeks.  So i really haven't sang in a while.  It sucks.   But my writing is getting done for the album, the last of it that is.  I have only a couple left to finish but i may just finish them in studio with my producer.  Well see how it goes, but like i said before.  this is going to be a hundred times the album the last one was. I'll keep trying to keep you posted on things.

boredom.

i have found myself bored again with too much to write about.  Not in a blog, but in music. I play my guitar. everything i write seems to sound the same. i know its not, but it doesn't feel like it comes from the deepest and darkest parts of my soul.  I'm frustrated. i start recording so soon.  I want this to be perfect and at this rate i know it wont be.  i have 3 or 4 songs that feel like they will never be finished.  i want to play new material, but i can't because i can't finish anything i start writing. The words don't seem right.  The music feels like i've played it before. I need it to be honest but ones boredom is not be captivating or interesting to listen to.  I need to keep writing and fight through the slump that overwhelms me. 

the storm.

I am about to embark on a new chapter of life.  There is so much going on around me i have often have no place of refuge.  This is the storm, and our captain has been dragged overboard.  I am the only one who can save this ship.  we are in peril with no sign of hope.  I suppose its only in the movies where it all works out as we suspect it will.  This is not the movies.  Suppose we are also thrown overboard, kicking and screaming in the waves for someone to help... there's no one out here... who will hear my cries for help.  Even the captain has relinquished his control to the sea he finds himself in.  Maybe it's not up to me to save the ship, if it should even be saved at all. I have not the means to save myself from anything. This is life.  Its ugly, dirty, foul and will never work out the way you expect it to.  Is that not the beauty of it?  today, there is no hope, and thats okay.   We don't always need to believe that things will be the way we expect them to be, or be fixed in the way we want them to be fixed.  Maybe the way we look for hope is not the hope we need.  I just need to believe this...even if its just tonight.  This is the storm, and i don't know if everything will be okay.

24th.

It is getting close to the start date for recording.  I am extremely nervous about this next record.  I know it is the best writing i have ever done, but i am hoping other people will feel the same.  the nervous part for me is how honest i am being with some of the writing.  it is by far the most personal i have ever been in my songs.  Many of them have very little hope.  But this darkness can only last so long. I know there will come a day when my songs are filled with more hope, but i cannot write about things i don't feel.  As for the recording aspect, i am taking a week or more of work and we are going to record from morning to night till everything is perfect. I am also going to be doing some of the writing in studio, which i recently have found to be a great place for me to write.  I am projecting the album to be out by beginning of May if everything goes according to schedule, but it never does, so more likely it will be out by end of May.  I also started a Fans of Waking Jude group on facebook, where i will be letting you know what's going on for shows and such.  I will keep you posted on things. 

New York Love.

I just got back from new york last week.  it was incredible.  the sites, smells and all the vegetarian food you could ever as for.  the subways are incredible and it truly made me hate my car.  i hate that i have to drive everywhere in lethbridge... it sucks so bad.  the best moment of my trip however, was waking up after an extremely long night of pubs and city streets to the rush of the subway down below. 7th & Driggs. i loved it.  I found New York to be a very inspirational place to be for music, specifically Brooklyn.  There are so many young people out there trying to get away from the life they used to have somewhere else.  It is a place of escape. Thats probably why i loved it so much.  I worked quite a bit on my writing while i was there.  Not so much musically, but lyrically.  trying to describe what you see, how you feel and bringing those experiences to life through another medium. i would sit by the window, with the trains rushing past below the city streets, watching people as they walk, doing their best to keep to themselves.  The interesting thing is that they really were friendly people beneath their rough exterior. I will live there someday. Whether its for a couple months or a couple years, i don't really care.  I just felt calm and at peace there.  When it all comes down to it, thats all i want to feel. 

Love & Pain Go Hand in Hand.

well, lots has been happening in terms of the new album and new writing, both lyrically and songwise. i have been playing a ton of shows and have noticed a little self-improvement along the way. i guess thats what you get when you practice and play shows. you get better. tonight i played at the "after school special". it was a really good show and i am sorry to those of you who missed it. i played a longer set which i am starting to like since i quit smoking. i feel like i can sing forever now. and so much easier and not as pitchy. i really like how the new songs are going over with people.  it is nice to hear good things about the songs you play, and just knowing i can still connect with the human heart makes me not feel so alone out there. i have 3 more songs to finish putting together and then i am off and running. but i may write them in studio with my producer Scott Bartlett of Tonesmith Studios.  It's a great studio and i am very excited to be able to get in there for my recording. i think this could be what i am most proud of in my whole life.  this record. it is going to be extremely personal and i want it to be perfect.

  i haven't been as faithful to the upkeep of my blog as i have wanted. i think sometime i just dont know what to say.  but you keep going and at some point something of importance will come out. i have been extremely busy in life and i am thinking of moving to a place that facilitates music a little more. I may need to escape...no, i NEED to escape.  But all in good time. so much yet to finish and prepare for. But for now, i will be fine. I have to be, because i have no other option. Escaping never solved problem's anyways. as a good friend of mine told me recently, "Just Breathe and find Peace in yourself".   

New Stuff

So i have posted a few new songs on line and i feel like they are becoming better and better as i go along.  I will be recording a few more in preproduction before i take to the real studio. Some of these songs are a little old like "falling for you" but i think that if i am still playing them 4 years after i write them they must be good...or at least i think they're good.  I am going to be planning a couple smaller tours here in the next while, cause i sure feel the need to hit the road with it. Life has been a bit of a struggle lately and i really want to reflect that in my upcoming writing.  Like i said before, i feel like my music needs to be honest to who i am and what i am going through.  Some of the songs will seem as though there is not a lot of hope in life but i don't necessarily think thats true. I feel a lot of hope. there always is and you just have to look hard for it. and then sometimes its hard to see through all the **** that life delves out.  but that is the way life is and it doesn't mean that its not good to go through.  We need tough times to have the good times. no good without bad. i guess what i am trying to say is that we need to hold fast. i'm not sure if there is much other option.

In Case of Emergency

So it is finally the new year.  it happens at the same time every year so i guess that its fairly predictable.  However, every new year i find it is a great time to start fresh with everything.  From smoking to drinking to spending more time with a guitar, or even family... For some reason it feels good to know that everything has a fresh start.  I have been writing a lot lately. A lot.  Right now i am finding both extremely easy and difficult to be honest in my writing.  the best example of this is "In case of emergency". this to me is probably the most honest song i have ever written.  i think it is a song that has helped me both cope, understand and despise my own human frailty and brokenness. I think it also shows my need to be a part of something greater than myself, not in a rich and famous way, but in a human way.  I felt i captured myself calling out and not being heard. or maybe its not that i wasn't being heard, maybe sometimes there is nothing that can be said other than, "i am so sorry..." and then sit in silence.  But then again, it was just what came out when i started writing it.  Honest human experience.  The difficulty in being honest with your music is simple. To be completely honest and transparent, to let people into your life without knowing them, but sharing your love/pain/loss is not an easy task.  As simple as that.  In Case of Emergency and The frailty of the human heart. I came up with that song and album title years before the song or album was conceived of .  I don't even know where i got the idea.  I suppose human life (or specifically the heart) is often a matter of life and death (not in a physical sense, although it can be), our hearts can preoccupy, destroy, give purpose our lives for weeks, months or years.  I don't write these songs just because the radio is flooded with them, i write them because they are honest to who i am and what i take out of life.  I think thats what music should always be but we often get caught up in formulas or writing the next club anthem.  I just want to be able to understand and feel what i sing about, because that is what gives it integrity.  and for 2008 i think thats what i am going to focus on.