boredom.

i have found myself bored again with too much to write about.  Not in a blog, but in music. I play my guitar. everything i write seems to sound the same. i know its not, but it doesn't feel like it comes from the deepest and darkest parts of my soul.  I'm frustrated. i start recording so soon.  I want this to be perfect and at this rate i know it wont be.  i have 3 or 4 songs that feel like they will never be finished.  i want to play new material, but i can't because i can't finish anything i start writing. The words don't seem right.  The music feels like i've played it before. I need it to be honest but ones boredom is not be captivating or interesting to listen to.  I need to keep writing and fight through the slump that overwhelms me. 

the storm.

I am about to embark on a new chapter of life.  There is so much going on around me i have often have no place of refuge.  This is the storm, and our captain has been dragged overboard.  I am the only one who can save this ship.  we are in peril with no sign of hope.  I suppose its only in the movies where it all works out as we suspect it will.  This is not the movies.  Suppose we are also thrown overboard, kicking and screaming in the waves for someone to help... there's no one out here... who will hear my cries for help.  Even the captain has relinquished his control to the sea he finds himself in.  Maybe it's not up to me to save the ship, if it should even be saved at all. I have not the means to save myself from anything. This is life.  Its ugly, dirty, foul and will never work out the way you expect it to.  Is that not the beauty of it?  today, there is no hope, and thats okay.   We don't always need to believe that things will be the way we expect them to be, or be fixed in the way we want them to be fixed.  Maybe the way we look for hope is not the hope we need.  I just need to believe this...even if its just tonight.  This is the storm, and i don't know if everything will be okay.

24th.

It is getting close to the start date for recording.  I am extremely nervous about this next record.  I know it is the best writing i have ever done, but i am hoping other people will feel the same.  the nervous part for me is how honest i am being with some of the writing.  it is by far the most personal i have ever been in my songs.  Many of them have very little hope.  But this darkness can only last so long. I know there will come a day when my songs are filled with more hope, but i cannot write about things i don't feel.  As for the recording aspect, i am taking a week or more of work and we are going to record from morning to night till everything is perfect. I am also going to be doing some of the writing in studio, which i recently have found to be a great place for me to write.  I am projecting the album to be out by beginning of May if everything goes according to schedule, but it never does, so more likely it will be out by end of May.  I also started a Fans of Waking Jude group on facebook, where i will be letting you know what's going on for shows and such.  I will keep you posted on things.